Last night was pretty weird. Sitting watching our wedding video and seeing how our lives have changed so much. Seeing my mom again who passed many years ago. Seeing Marilyns family and noticing 4 of marilyn's family who have since passed of ALS. Her mother, brother an uncle and a cousin. We cried a lot. I sat as close to mare as i could in that hospital bed. She told me the other night she woke up so cold. She wanted to roll over and snuggle next to me on the floor but she couldn't. She said it again for emphasis. I couldn't roll over. More tears.
My wife was and is so beautiful. The first time i met her, one of the first thoughts i had was what a great mom she would make. Talk about being perceptive. On top of that she was smoking hot. We dated for 5 years before the big day. I was so nervous. I did not like being the center of attention and it showed. After Mare's dad gave her away, we walked toward the Pastor and then he walked away. I did not know it but mare had a little surprise for me. She sang to me. We spent the night at the Westin in seattle. We drove to Vancouver BC the next day to fly out from there to Hawaii. Turns out, i had ordered tickets and then changed travel agents. All the confusion had caused us to actually cancel our reservations and we had none and had lost our money somehow in the travel melee'. Luckily we had a friend who was a travel agent who got us tickets out of seattle and our money back (i think - or maybe it was gpa who foot the bill) but we made it. Quite an auspicious start to a wonderful 24 years.
We enjoyed reminiscing and being close. I miss that. A caregivers role of an ALS spouse is so different in some respects of being a spouse. I'm doing things i never even dreamed of. For better or worse right?? We had a good night. I did get us some italian and had to add a little tomato sauce to mares so she could eat her spaghetti and marinara. She loved it. I loved mine. We loved just being toghether. I have trouble thinking of life without her. But im going to have to eventually. Sometimes i start to go there and feel guilty. Have i told you i hate ALS?
Cori and Pat gave us both a good nights sleep. it was a good anniversary. Thanks for all the gifts, cards and flowers. We love our Army!