I thought it would be very emotional. It wasnt. I stood there with Lauren and we watched our man, Bubba, in the homecoming parade announced as king. Mare wasnt there. She was home in bed watched by carmen and lisa. Maureen Stanton asked me the other day if i had read ann landers about caregivers and grieving. I had and could relate. Lauren had expressed similar sentiments to what a widow of ALS told me about her husband. The day they got the diagnosis was the day she started grieving for the loss of her husband. Mare is still here but she is not here. When i look at pictures of even a year ago, that person seems to no longer exist. I miss her. Yet she is still here. Twilight zone......
For those of you that have signed up for anything to help us you know Carmen. She has been our point person since the beginning. On top of that she is always there to lend a hand. She quietly does what she does with no desire to be recognized. She is the best example of being a servant that i can point to. If you talked to her you would not hear from her all she has done for us. She does it and expects nothing in return. It is enough just to do for others. She came over today just to give me a break. Her husband John is a lucky man. He married up. Here she sits quietly watching over her friend.
marilyn had a tearful day. She really wanted to be there tonight. She told me she wanted to be the homecoming kings mom. I told her she is. She is being more accepting of increasing doses of meds. Her humor still triumphs her situation. Today lisa and rich (our neighbors) were there along with carmen when i came home from the game. Mare wanted some meds so as i prepared it she whispered to me, "i want to play a joke on Rich." Rich is a great guy but a little squeamish about things like this and would never even consider giving mare her meds in her pic line. Mare asked him to give her the meds and he said no way. But after giving him her version of the puppy dog look, he relented. As he did it it was obvious he was way out of his comfort zone and wanted to be somewhere else. If you look at her eyes here you can see she is about to spring something on him. All of a sudden mare starts in with some ow, ow ouch that hurts and freaks Rich out. She wanted to continue the prank but under some pretty heavy medication already, she is unable to hold it together and started laughing. We all did except rich who grabbed the rum that was left over from uncle Pauls visit and started chugging. I think he wet himself.
We had a great day just being together. We watched two movies and held hands. She is sleeping now and breathing irregular. I hope she does not feel afraid.
i love this pic. Rich and Lisas daughter sidney fed Marilyn her Popsicle tonight. I wonder what she thinks of all this. How it will impact her when mare is gone??
May mare have a restful and peaceful sleep.