Friday, September 4, 2009

Thursday September 3

Not a good day. Mare did not get out of bed until after noon i think. We took her off her bipap machine to go to the bathroom and she really was working to breathe. By the time we got her out of there and back on the machine she was really struggling and getting anxious. In days past when that has happened and i asked her if i should call the hospice nurse, she would shake her head no. Not so today. Jayne was here in mere moments to see what she could do to comfort her. Gpa and Kay and I had already given her a zanex to relieve the anxiety and jayne followed up with O2 added to her bipap and a small dose of dilauted (sp?) to help with the pain in her lungs from breathing so hard. We stayed close and did what we could to comfort her

Prior to calling jayne i had already decided i was not going to tennis today. Even though i would be leaving her in very capable hands in gpa and kay, i could see in her eyes she did not want me to leave. So i stayed home and we kept her comfortable. Mare wanted to hear instrumental piano music so we put it on. Once the meds took effect,she had a very good nap. Eileen Moreland brought over a fantastic dinner which we devoured while mare slept. mares good friend from St. Joes cori came down along with her daughter for a visit. Gpa and kay went home but brought gina here from the train station.

Late in the evening mare started feeling really sick. Gina, bob walker and i were here and bob quickly called his wife lynn to come back over. She had been her earlier to be with mare. The four of us did our best to cool mare down and comfort her. We called hospice again and were told to give her a little more dilauted which we did and mare was comfortable and slept until early am. She did not want to go to bed tonight but wanted to stay where people would be. We stayed up with her to be there for her. We have some great friends.

I am so thankful for ALL the people who have helped us. So many of you in the background who do what you do only because you want to love on our family - to Love on mare. We absolutely could not do this without all of you. That includes those of you far away that pray. powerful!

Got a call from Harry Herdman today, Mares primary physician. He is traveling south on saturday and wants to stop by to see mare. She is excited to see him.

Nurse coming tomorrow to start tube feeding.

In the middle of all of mares anxiety today she looked at me and winked. She winked at me. I had to ask her, "did you just wink at me?"

May Mare have a restful and peaceful sleep.


  1. God bless you and grant Mare the Peace of knowing God loves her and He loves your family in a way that none of us can. I pray you all will feel that peace.

    I would love to hold mare's hand and sit with her. I love her and miss her so much.

    Take care Leer Family.
    Steph B.

  2. After reading this my co-worker Isabel said "That's it, we are going to pray". We all held hands and she said a beautiful prayer for Marilyn and for our family.... God is reaching out everywhere right now.

    Love you,

  3. Thank you, Jeff. Even when it's such painful news, I want to know how your precious wife is doing. May you and Mare have a peaceful and restful sleep.

  4. Dear Jeff and Marilyn,

    Terry and I are off in the morning to be with Pam and John. As you likely know, he came home from the hospital Thursday afternoon with hospice services set up. As I mentioned to Eileen, God is hitting paydirt when he brings John and Marilyn home. As for us, I guess we treasure the gift that has been given and only hope we can let them know how beloved they are to us. Please give Marilyn a gentle squeeze, a loving smile, and our hearts best wishes for all that is to come. We're all in this together, just different legs of the journey. We stand hand in hand knowing the gift of love is inseparable.

  5. "ethoreen" -- how lovely. Thank you for this day starter.

    Peace to Leer people, and all, on this holiday weekend.

  6. Ellen, you brought a smile to us. Thanks. May John Carl have a restful and peaceful sleep.