Friday, September 11, 2009

Thursday September 10

Mare had a restless night. The three angels from St joes were up most of the night trying to make mare comfortable. I got another full nighs sleep. Felt so good.

The mask was really giving mare fits this morning. I called the repiratory therapist and she was here very quickly. We tried several things and ended up putting on one of her old masks. She told mare the reason the machine ramps up and gives her too much airs is due to all the talking she is doing. Whenever we have to remove the mask it is quite scary for her. She is unable to breathe in a very short time off the machine.

I got a call early this morning from a dear friend Terry who just got back from palm springs. He was visiting our other friends pam and john carl. John has cancer and is home now and hospice is involved. He and Marilyn were given a benefit tennis tournament last year in october i think. It is so odd that they are both at this point of their battles. Terry told me how much he appreciated me writing this. His call was a great way to start the day. It is good for me as well. Terry's wife said that God was going to hit the jack pot when he calls both of them home. May John and Pam have a restful and peaceful sleep.

My good high school buddy brian came up from california to show us his new baby. I was his best man and lauren sang in his wedding. My son Brian is named after him. His father and mother in law and his wife cynthia were here too. His Father in law is a pastor in mexico. He prayed for me, marilyn and the enitire family. Even though it was all in spanish, it was a pretty cool moment.

Mare use to work in the childbirth center in bham. She was very good at that job and misses holding those babies. She told me the other day she is touch starved. When i gave the baby to her and layed in next to her, put her arms around it and allowed the little kyler to grab mares finger, i lost it. The emotions of seeing the beginning of life and the end of life all at once were too much for me. The look on Mares face was incredible.

Two more angels staying to watch over mare tonight. May mare have a restful and peaceful sleep.


  1. Hello Jeff. It's me, Dorothy. Thanks so much for talking to me the other night. I want to call every night but don't want to be a burden to you. That's why I appreciate these blogs SO much. I can't wait to read it every day. Sometimes I don't have time until the end of my work day and by that time I am getting real anxious. Today I had a chance to read it on my lunch hour. As I read I wish that it would go on forever and then I am sad when it's over for another day. My nurse co-workers here in Montana know all about my lovely friend, Marilyn and her husband, Jeff, and her dad, Frank, and her children...I keep your family picture at my desk at work, right in front of me. I am pleading with God to give Marilyn calm and easy breathing. I have chanted over and over, "Please God, don't let her suffer. Please God, don't let her struggle..." Over and over and over. I am so glad so many people have been able to stay over at night with Mare. Of course, I wish it were me that was there. But, alas, God has other plans. I love the addition of the picture today, Thanks, Jeff. Helps me feel closer. I can see the frustration in her eyes but the smile is on her face, as always. She is still so beautiful to me. Please tll Mare I told her she is beautiful, ok? I love you all. Thinking of you all..Praying for you all...Until tomorrow...

  2. Jeff,
    Thanks for the blog. I read Dorothy's comments and I feel the same way she describes. It is a way to stay connected to Marilyn without burdening you to pick up the phone. I wait to read the latest news. I love the voice you write in. It is sensitive yet humorous. It is a gift to write with such detail without being explicit.

    Thanks for sharing your gift with us.

    Love to Marilyn, Brian, Lauren, Frank,Kathy, The Sisters, and you.

    Jean Ann and I will be taking the night shift on Thursday .We look forward to our time together with Marilyn.

    See you on Thursday.

  3. Dear Jeff,
    Please give Marilyn a hug and kiss for me. Thank you so much for the blog, it helps so much while I'm away.
    Hope to see Pam & John tomorrow. Be back home Tuesday night.
    Love to you all,

  4. Oh, Jeff, what a tender missive. This photograph, along with the incredible picture created by your words, provides an indelible reminder that she is still Marilyn. Despite the torment this disease is causing her body, her soul, so rich with love, care, kindness, and grace is still with you all. Praise God that she tells you what she needs. Praise God that you are there to hear.

    Thank you, Jeff. How I do appreciate these windows into the life of this woman who so commands your heart. May you each have a restful and peaceful sleep.

  5. Thanks for the blog Jeff. We are following and praying for you along the way. I wear one of those masks for sleep apnea, and sometimes they really get you frustrated. Your nose starts to hurt inside and out.

    Know that we are praying for you all, and that it is good you are so faithful in posting the stuff you do. God bless you, and Mare and the kids. May you all get the rest and peace that only God can give. We love you Dale and Gerry

  6. jeff, the one day I spent with you is not enough. I wish I could be with you every moment. I hated leaving you and mare. I just hated it. I love you both so much.


  7. Jeff and Marilyn, your love and courage and faith and humor are a blessing to all of us. Marilyn, I loved being with you today. And thank you for the wonderful song on youtube! My prayers and love are with you and your family.