when i wake in the morning i have a brief moment, ever so brief that it is just another normal day. But then the "great sadness" i spoke of a few months back in one of our update letters descends. For all of us that love marilyn, we experience it. A helplessness of knowing what is to come and not being able to alter her future. So we do what we can. We comfort her, write her, call her, visit her or pray for her. You all are with us, every step of the way.
Grandpa and Kay allowed me to have the most normal day i have had in a long time. In the afternoon, i was able to go watch brian play tennis while they comforted mare. I was in heaven. I always wanted both my kids to devote themselves to tennis. Neither did but they both are pretty dang good anyway and it was fun to watch him. He beat a very nice kid from anacortes 6-3, 6-3. While i was there i got to see some great friends. His coach cheryl and her husband vince have been very kind to us. I got to tell cheryl thank you in person. Patti and Shirley Shanander, long time tennis friends were there and we talked for some time. My good friend Justin B who i love to play tennis with was also there. Of course our conversations were about mare foremost, it was good just watching my son and talking to friends. When brian finished i rushed him to school so he could tailgate before the Mount Vernon football game. He showed me something that the boys were going to do after the game. I could not respond to him.
I hung out at Bob Walkers til the game started. We went to the game and i saw many people who just by the smile they gave me, let me know that "they know."
Mount vernon won the game and as tradition, the team came over to the student section to sing the alma mater and then they did it. Most of the team took off their jerseys to show me what my son had shown me earlier. The QB on the team had the idea to honor brian and his mom by wearing shirts under their jerseys that said on one side, "Fight ALS Marilyn" and on the other, "We are with you every step of the way." I went down to the field and hugged each one i could. Boys who i never met looked at me with the eyes of the great sadness and said simply, "i'm sorry." When it gets right down to it, people are good! Brian was there too. I have not seen him weep much over the past year. It was good to see it last night.
Brian was voted Home Coming King. We are all so proud of him. My only worry is his mom will try to continue to fight so she can see that night in two weeks.
Marilyn is complaining more and more of headaches and difficulty breathing even with the mask. She is becoming a little more agitated towards me. I was here by myself last night with her. She was up several times again. She has asked for dilauted (pain killer) two nights in a row now. It takes away the terrible headaches and lets her sleep.
May Marilyn have a restful and peaceful sleep.