Sunday, September 6, 2009

Saturday September 5th

I am sitting here in the dark and quiet of the early morning. It is very peaceful here. It made me think of the words of a James Morrison song, Better Man. "under the stars, at the edge of the sea. Theres no one around, no one but (mare) and me." Well, no one but Mare, me and her ever present lap dog saddie keeping watch over her. I could go get my guitar and sing that to Mare again. I had learned it many months ago and sang it to her one evening as she had sang to me at our wedding and i always wanted to get her back for doing that. I could sing it to her again, but she has had enough discomfort for one day.

I went to bed at midnight and set the alarm for 2am to relieve Gina at Mares bedside. Gina said she did not hear me turn my alarm off :) I awoke at 4 to find her comforting mare like a big sis does. She reluctantly let me take over and went to bed for some well deserved rest.

It was a good day here. So many visitors, so much family. It is exactly how marilyn likes it. She was never alone. Between all the visitors, the family took turns holding her hand. At one point Mare started reminiscing about reading to the kids at bedtime. She is such a good mom. She would read to them every night without fail. She remembered a few books brian loved. Piggy pie and so many others.

She had a visit from harry herdman. My daughter commented about how many docs make house calls and give the patient a kiss on the forehead too.

She is starting to come to grips with the reality of the moment. At one point she asked Lauren to go get some of her important jewelry. She gave them to Lauren except for a few pieces. Those she reserved for Tia, brians girlfriend. This young lady has been through enough grief in her life. At age 12, she lost her Dad to cancer i think. It was and is tough on her. We know it is a God thing that she is in Brians life right now. He has someone on earth who knows what he is going through. Tia came tonight and i was on the phone outside. I kind of lost it and hugged her and told her how sorry i was for her loss and how unfair it was she had to go through that and this. She came in to see Mare and we left them alone. Mare had gina write her a note prior to her getting there to go with the gift while gpa and kay held her hands. I came in toward the end of tia and mares time alone to hear her passing on some wisdom about guys and getting married. Regardless of what happens between brian and her, we will be ever thankful that God gave her to us, to him, for such a time as this.

She complained of pain in her teeth from the machine so i gave her what she wanted. I stopped writing this and went and got my guitar and played a little for her. I tried to sing her that song as best as i could. Good thing she just had something for pain. I continued to strum and play and she fell asleep. That women always did know what was best for her.

may mare have a restful and peaceful sleep


  1. Dear Jeff,
    Your gift of writing and pouring out your heart exudes with God's love. I heard the song yesterday and today- "Cry Out To Jesus" by Third Day and I've thought of you.
    Bless all of you. I'll come by to see Marilyn this weekend.
    Love, Kathy

  2. I just returned from church. Prayers for all of you by people of my congregation have continued all summer. I spoke to them again today about the need for their renewed efforts. They send love and prayer.

    May you all -- family and extended family and friends -- experience restful and peaceful sleep, short as your naps may be.

  3. thanks dale. Ive been meaning to call. Will get in touch next week. Jeff