Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Monday September 21

I love Mondays with Marilyn. You see, it is massage monday. And i get to piggy back on Mares hospice massage and get 30 minutes of the most gifted hands on my back and shoulders too. Marilyn loves it. She made the comment last week that she is touch starved. Think about how tactile a normal day is for normal people. Then picture Mare in bed not being able to move. So when you visit, she will never turn down a foot rub or just a holding and stroking of her hand. It is "gold" to her. We use to do this little squeeze game when we would hold hands. I would squeeze three times for I - Love - You. She would squeeze back four, I - Love - You - Too! I had to squeeze all seven today.

After a great weekend, we had a little rougher day today. Not many visitors and that was probably good. She was a little more tired today and minor breathing issues were back. We had our reoccurring mask issues. After so many hours in one mask, it will start to hurt an area on her face. So we switch it out to relieve that spot and the new one hurts another. That is why you will see so many different masks on her face in the pictures. She was very cold all day. Even as warm as it was, she could not have enough blankets on. I noticed her color was not as good as over the weekend either. She looked very pale to me. The nurse came and suggested Methodone for mares pain. She is taking more and more for headaches and sore shoulders and the nurse gave us the benefits of the switch. She will come back on Thursday and Mare is to let her know. Her call.

I gave Mare a bed bath today. I was so proud of myself. I did the whole thing, even switching out all the sheets with her in the bed. Then Carmen and Lynn and her daughter Jillian finished the job by washing her hair. Mare felt so good after this.

My night angels were Eilleen Smith-Morland and her sister Jan. This is not Eileen's sister pictured here. It' just her husband Dave who wanted some ink. Seriously, we met these two people through tennis and they are proof of what you hear tennis people say. Tennis people are good people.

Today was Gpa and Kays 13th anniversary. They went out to dinner. Next Monday is our 24th! someone whispered in my ear that mare was holding on to get to that day. We went out for 5 years before getting married so that is 29 years together. I am lucky she gave me that many. A year or so before we got the news of her diagnosis of ALS, we hit a rocky patch. It was over stupid stuff. I'm a stubborn Norske and she has a little Irish pride from her side that doesnt like to admit fault either. Put those two together and you're bound to bang heads eventually. We did and let it get way out of hand. I took off in the trailer and after a week or so called hoping she would see the error of her ways :) and beg me to come back. She didn't and wasn't so interested in fixing this. I got a little scared that i was going to continue the leer tradition and make it 6 brothers in a row in our fam to divorce. So i eventually came home and we patched things up. What a waste of time and energy that was. When we got the news of ALS we were in one of the best spots of our marriage. Looking back, I am so thankful that things got good before things got bad. There will be no six in a row!
So next monday we are requesting no fam or visitors. (except my night angels!) Im getting food from our favorite Italian place and will mash mares up so she can eat a little and we will watch our wedding video. She would always want to watch that video. I would tell her like most guys, "But ive already seen it."
May Mare have a restful and peaceful sleep.


  1. I love you guys and your willingness to share. I still picture Mare in the nursery with her little blue gloves mixing breast milk. Love and peace to both of you. Pam Magnuson

  2. Have a beautiful anniversary celebration! May it be filled with tender, sweet kisses, memories, and yes, even dreams for your lives together as you continue to be that sacred sign of Trinitian, selfless, fruitful love forged in the marital bond. Enjoy your yummy Italian meal. Hugs to you both, Cindy P.S. Mare, does Jeff ever give you headrubs or head tickles with his fingernails? Pretty relaxing!

  3. Jeff and Mare,
    My alarm goes off 4:30 AM everyweek day and I wake to especially listen to a radio/internet radio program called Compassion Radio. This morning's interview had a gentleman describing an event that occurred in Russia. The Billy Graham crusade conducted a meeting with a quadriplegic speaking in English, a blind man interpreting her, and 74 year old Billy Graham with Parkinson's inviting the people to Christ. What a package...a powerful package for God's choices to speak to the people.

    As you know, I too have prayed very hard for Mare's healing and have struggled with God's plan for her (as it seems to me). But I must say, her life has been used very similar in principle to the 3 people who all had serious maladies. Watching the number of people significantly touched by God through Mare's condition and your enduring, compassionate and loving support as a mate have been powerfully used by God too. Even as I type this I can hear God saying to both of you, "Well done, good and faithful servant". Thanks. You both are dearly loved. Rod