Saturday, September 5, 2009

Friday September 4th

Today was much like yesterday. I went to bed around 330 and left mare with her sister gina. When i got up, gina was still up being the big sister. We had a flurry af acivity here today. Hospice nurse was out a few times to check on mare and deliver new medications. Respiratory delivered more oxygen. Nutrition dropped of feeding tube supplies. the hospice doctor wanted marilyn to consider a pic line (like an iv) in order to administer meds faster. After some hesitation she agreed. Pic lin nurse came out and performed a minor surgery to put it in in our living room. She did not eat at all today. She really did not move except gpa encouraged her to go to bed for the night. She did not want to be alone. Lynn walker was here much of the day and gave her the initial ativan in her pic. Two nurses from st joes, steph and dolores came down and took the night watch to give us a rest.

My family from seattle, Aunt Mona, Aunt Becky, Uncle Gus and my sister Lisa are coming up with dinner. It feels good to be surrounded by family and friends. And especially the skilled nurses who have stepped up to help. That has been huge.

Steph removed mares bipap just for a minute last night. Mare struggled even then to breathe. In all reality, she is on life support now. To stay off the mask would be the end. I made the mistake of putting on facebood if i wondered if this might be it. I have wondered that everyday for the last 6 months. It will now be up to mare and her God how long we have with her. She is for the most part comfortable.

May Mare have a restful and peaceful sleep.


  1. I was unable to make it today. Lydia had a cough all night that kept Rob and I both up all night long. I feel so awful about it. I want so bad to be there for her. She was there so many times for me. During my father's and mother's death and for the birth of my daugher. I have to go on the record with Jeff, I hate this STUPID desease!! I HATE IT!

  2. Dear Marilyn and Jeff

    Thank you for sharing yourselves with all of us on this blog. I find myself checking it several times a day for any news of Marilyn, as she is always on my mind.

    For the past 8 days, until last night, the nursery has been closed. I think in the decade I have worked at St. Joe's this is the longest stretch of time it has been closed. I have tried to figure it out...what was happening 9 months ago, the economy tanked, Wall St. collapse...?
    The other night I was in the nursery alone, and thought once again about how much I can feel Marilyn there, in notes posted in the Kardex, pictures on the wall, memories of shared experience...she could walk in the door at anytime, ready for report, with that incredible smile, and it would be hard to be surprised.

    So this morning, I was drying my hair and thinking about how long the nursery has been closed, and the thought came to me...maybe the nursery is taking it's own moment of silence in honor of marilyn. Silly? Hmmm...

    Though I can't understand, I have confidence tonight in God's mercy and faithfullness. I know he holds you in the palm of his hand. I am trusting in him to give you peace and keep you safe.

    Love Marge

  3. My thoughts are always with all of you. What a wonderful support you have. What a difference Marilyn makes in this world.

    Jeff, if I can help with next week, please call me.

    May Jeff and Mare have a restful and peaceful sleep.

  4. Jeff,

    This is Ed Bailey, from the hood of Lake Stevens, checking in to see if there is anything else I can do for you and yours. I do not want to bother you by calling and bugging you at this time. But know I am here if you need to call or talk or whatever.
    I called Amy Beth Cook today and would like to donate 10 days of sick leave coming your way when you need it. If you need another dinner, I am willing to take another crack at that as well. Whatever you need, let me know.
    Thinking of you and hope you are staying strong and dealing with all that is on your plate.


  5. ed i missed this comment when you posted it. I'm glad you called today. You have been a rock for me. I know you are always there for us. It is unbelievably comforting to have so many people sharing this burdern with us. We are very lucky people.