I woke this am to find mare being taking care of by marge and cori. They said she had another pretty good night. Her body may be going but her mind is still so sharp. She knows everything that is going on in that house. Despite her battle, she remains so dang optimistic and in a relatively good mood when her body allows her a break from the discomfort. I asked her after the ladies left how she could be so cheery despite her circumstances. She turned her head slowly, looked up at me like i was stupid and said, "because im stoned."
Mare has been having us put up all the pictures we take next to her bed. She loves to recount every memory and allow it to linger. She smiles when looking at them. Many of the cards you have sent are there too. It is a visual reminder of her army surrounding her. She feels you.
She just woke up and told me she was jittery. Like everything was spinning around her. I asked if she wanted a hit and she said no, "just hold my hand." Back to sleep again. I hope she can escape this in her sleep. I hope she is able to find some happy place that knows no ALS.
I have been thinking about one of my favorite movies, Shawshank Redemtion. I find myself identifying with the main character Andy Dufresne. I know this is going to sound a little egocentric but it is what it is. Andy is convicted of a double murder he did not commit. One of the victims being his wife whom he loves immensely. He is sent to shawshank prison for life. While there he has to undergo all the tortures of prison life. While in prison, he is somehow able to not let it get to him. I'm not saying this is not getting to me but i sometimes feel like i am numb to the realities as he was. He plans an escape but has to crawl through a sewer that reeks of raw feces to do it. He gets out and takes care of a friend he met in prison before going off to his place that knows no memories of his former life. It is a beach in Mexico called Zihuatanejo. I have been wondering where my Zihuatenejo will be when this is all over. I hope marilyn is on that beach as she sleeps.
May she have a restful and peaceful sleep.
Get busy livin or get busy dieing - Shawshank Redemtion