Kathy, Mares sister and her family were up for the weekend. That means we ate well. Uncle Paul put a pork butt on the traeger which we smoked over night. It was incredible. I carved out enough time to put in an appearance at a benefit tennis tourney for a tennis friend of ours who passed not long ago. He played in Mare and Johns tourney just a year ago. Had an aggressive cancer and we lost him. Many of our friends were there. Along with Pam who just lost her husband John from cancer. She came to the fence and we said hello. I really wanted to hug her but i knew we would both lose it if we did. I'll save that for later.
Mare had three night angels from St. Joes. They had to ring the bell at around 430 as mare was having major breathing issues. We did our best to comfort by administering more meds. I was able to get back to sleep for a little over an hour and half and it happened again. I came down and the scenario played out again. At this point we changed her mask to the full face to see if that helped and it did. Trouble was we could not communicate as well. We got out the pointing board that Mary Rebar had given us to see if that helped and it did somewhat. Only trouble was there was not a space to point to that would make this all go away. I had made and poured myself some coffee. Mare keeps tying to tell me something and nods her head toward the nurses. She wanted to make sure i offered them some coffee. I love that woman.
I called Lynn over as the others left and she had another episode. Same routine. We called gpa and kay as mare wanted them here as well. They are currently holding her hands as she sleeps. Leanna our hospice social worker came this am too. We talked about how hard mare is fighting to live but her body is wanting to go the other direction. We discussed the drip meds that will make mare sedated but comfortable. She asked what i and the kids wanted. We want her to be comfortable. She said maybe she'll feel better when she wake up. She said, "We can always hope cant we? Again in that cute voice. :) Lauren is on her way up. Such a strong and courageous kid like her mother. Bubba too.
I hope i am not sharing too much. I know so many of you have been here for us this entire journey. I wanted you to complete it with us as well.
Please pray that Mare gets a glimpse of her wondrous eternity. And may she have a restful and peaceful sleep.